Edit #3: What I learned from a reality star, a secret shopping tip & cringing at myself on the internet
oh and a really great song <3
Reality stars are simultaneously some of the easiest and hardest interview guests.
And I think we could all learn a thing or two from a Housewife.
I recently got a chance to sit down with Erika Jayne from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills for an exclusive interview with E! News. If you don’t watch the show or know Erika — which I have to admit I’m new to the series — she’s the definition of a bad bitch. She’s had a really public and tumultuous last few years, but this season of the show is her big comeback.
In person, she is poised and confident, but straightforward and direct. I admire that energy in other people cause it doesn’t come as easy for me.
Now there’s a few tricky things about my job and one of them being you have to really understand who the person is and what the objective of the interview is before you go into the conversation. This will guide what, how, when and why you’ll be able to ask and talk about certain topics.
I can tell you this — actors and artists don’t *love* to talk about their personal life. They often don’t even let you ask the questions you really want to ask, and either they or their team have nixed them before they walk into the room.
Reality stars are the opposite.
I love their honesty and their candor. It’s not easy. It takes such skill to be able to answer *any* question with a concise, solid, thoughtful response. (and by the way, I’m not saying this is all reality stars lol). And in an interview where nothing is off limits, they have to be prepared and ready to think on their feet. Two friends fighting? They’ve got an opinion. A really public breakup? They’ll give their side. Their love life? They’re filling you in.
The challenging part as the interviewer during these sit-downs, is while they’re quicker to share the information, you have to be ready to navigate and maintain a really personal conversation with them. When people ask me what it takes to succeed in my job there’s a few things I always say: you have to, first and foremost, be a great listener, you have to be a great producer, and you really, truly have to be able to be yourself in all situations. Reality stars require me to be at the top of my game for all three.
Now let’s go back to Erika for a second. I was so struck by my conversation with her and her lack of fear — nothing was off limits because no question scared her. She knows who she is and she wasn’t worried that anything I was going to say or ask was going to uncover her. It also made me think about my own life and appreciate the people in my circle who do not shy away from a topic. And I’m not talking about a contrarian or someone who’s abrasive. I’m talking someone who can see something difficult and raise you a response. Who can speak without condemning or over sharing or violating.
Now on the other side of the equation is me, and one thing that I took away from this moment was that the more confident you are, the more confident they are in you. To handle the conversation, the information, the moment.
And while the shows they’re on might be heavily produced, the people who show up willing and ready to let us into their lives with not so much as a question off limits? That is a serious superpower. So whether you’re the Erika or the interviewer, I think we could all learn a thing or two from a reality star.
Long live Bravo <3
An Insider Trick I had to Share With You:
I’ve been on a serious workout kick lately, and I’ve found that the hotter I feel in an outfit, the harder I work out. I live right next to a Lululemon, and, yes, it’s as dangerous as it sounds. Full disclosure, I hadn’t done laundry in an embarrassingly long time so instead of shipping it out to be cleaned I decided I would just go buy a whole new fit. Girl math.
I went into the store to browse and hit up the sale rack. I found this really cool blue zip up number for running (and NYC is so cold right now it takes me 2 miles on the treadmill to fully warm up). I started a chat with the floor manager there and we got to talking about the store. I told her I loved the pieces but that it’s priceyyy to buy too often. She told me with a little *wink wink nudge nudge* that every Thursday on the website is the main markdown day so if you’re ever thinking about buying anything new, that is the time when the sales are the highest. Who knew? So if you’re like me and in the market to splurge— I’ll see you Thursday. Xx
A Show You Need To Watch:
Can you believe it’s been 50 years of Saturday Night Live? Whether you watch religiously or only catch the monologues on YouTube, the show is an institution. Home to some of the most creative and imaginative, funny and hardworking minds of our generation.
Peacock has a new four part docu-series right now called SNL50: Beyond Saturday Night that walks you through the meticulous process and decades long history of the details of the show - from the auditions to the writers room to the iconic sketches and inter-show workings. It is fascinating.
The first episode hooked me immediately: it brought in some of the most famous and beloved cast members of the show. And during one part of the sit-down interview they actually replayed their very first SNL audition (and for some their second, third or fourth). They did everything you’d expect them to do: they cringed at themselves, they laughed, they looked away at some parts, they watched on in nostalgia for others. It was so, so human.
What struck me the most though was how most of them, and they also agreed with this, were really not that funny. The producers barely laughed. The talent were all so shocked that they got the job based on those auditions. But Lorne and his team saw something in them that he couldn’t quite put a finger on but he knew it was special.
It meant a lot to me because as someone who has regularly put themselves out on the internet for the last many, many years, there are moments when I watch myself back and I cannot help but cringe. Ah. I look so nervous. I could have asked that question so much better. I wasted an opportunity. I just didn’t have the skills I have now. I didn’t know how yet. I was going to get so, so much better.
Then I think about Amy Poehler who could barely watch her audition back. It’s so comforting to know that all the greats had to start somewhere, and they probably have things they wish weren’t online anymore either. But here is to growing up and getting better and having a good sense of humor about it all. Watch the show and let me know what you think. <3
A Song You Have to Listen To:
I love Teddy Swims. He’s a Georgia boy with a big heart and he’s always been so kind and so fun every single time I’ve seen him. He just recently dropped his latest album: I’ve Tried Everything But Therapy Pt 2 and it’s so so good. I went to his album release party at Webster Hall and he was telling a few stories in between songs.
He said his girlfriend’s favorite song on the album is the the last track ‘she loves the rain’ - and the way I have not been able to stop playing it. It’s so so good. I love the sentiment behind the lyrics:
Well, she likes the days better when the sun go down
She loves the rain
Maybe that means
She can love me somehow
What a lovely thought - she doesn’t mind a little darkness, so maybe she won’t mind me either.
Lastly, I’ll leave you with this. Water rises to it’s own level. What’s something you can do this week to build a community around?
I love you!
Em